A Brief History of Oregon ACA
ACA has been active in Oregon since the early 90’s when hundreds of people attended. Meetings swelled large enough to where they split up into smaller discussion groups. The Portland Intergroup was large and developed policies and bylaws in preparation for serving its members.
But ACA did not have structure and meetings often developed into venting or anger sessions with no Solution. Since then, we have identified “The Problem” and “The Solution” and the World Service Organization has published its own Big Book, the ACA Fellowship Text and more fellowship approved literature.
The birth of our Big Red Book has given structure to our recovery. It identifies the core issues of shame and abandonment which caused us to go from addiction to addiction, seeking a way to fill the void inside ourselves. Our Big Red Book is responsible for generating many new meetings in Oregon, and hundreds of new meetings worldwide since its initial publication in 2006.
What is ACA?
Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) is a Twelve Step, Twelve Tradition program of people who grew up in alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional homes. The ACA program was founded on the belief that family dysfunction is a disease that infected us as children and affects us as adults. Our membership also includes adults from homes where alcohol or drugs were not present; however abuse, neglect or unhealthy behavior was.
We are adults from many different backgrounds who came together to share our experience, strength, and hope. Our goal is to understand ourselves so that we can accept ourselves and others, just as we are, and learn to give and receive unconditional love. As we gradually learn to love ourselves and to become our own loving parents, our deep-seated and false sense of aloneness and worthlessness is replace with a realistic appraisal of our abilities and an authentic sense of our worth.
ACA meetings make no requirements on our involvement or understanding, and we are free to accept or reject anything we read or hear. This is done in a process we control. We get out of the meetings what we put into them; risking is part of growing. The ACA World Service Organization has published literature that especially benefits adult children and are considered essential readings by most recovering adult children. They are not a substitute for attending meetings, but they will enhance our recovery journey.
We meet to share our experience and recovery in an atmosphere of mutual respect. We discover how alcoholism and other family dysfunction affected us in the past and how it influences us in the present. We begin to see the unhealthy elements of our childhood. By practicing the Twelve Steps, focusing on the ACA Solution, and accepting a loving Higher Power of our own understanding, we find freedom. No matter what our past or present adult child problems, if we keep an open mind and keep coming back, we will find we can live happy, joyous and free.
Do I Belong in ACA?
The only requirement for membership is a desire to recover from the effects of growing up in an alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional family. ACA has no membership fees.
The characteristics of adult children of alcoholics can fit members of any dysfunctional family, whether our parents were alcoholics or not. If the characteristics seem to fit, ACA can help. Why? Because the effects on children are similar, the tools learned here can be useful in dealing with the effects of any type of family dysfunction.
ACA is a spiritual program, not a religious program. Belief in a Higher Power is not necessary for attending meetings, but as we listen to others share in their recovery, many of us found that being willing to entertain this concept provided our own Higher Power the opportunity to be heard. ACA allows us to choose our own concept of a Higher Power, whatever that might be. We may also find that our idea of a Higher Power changes in the process of recovery.
Since each meeting is autonomous, and each meeting can be a different experience, we recommend that if your first meeting is not a fit for you, try other meetings before deciding if the ACA program can be helpful in your journey from discovery to recovery.
Why We First Came To ACA
Before ACA, our decisions and answers to life did not seem to work. Our lives had become unmanageable. We exhausted all the ways we thought we could become happy. We often lost our creativity, our flexibility, and our sense of humor. Continuing the same existence was no longer an option. Nevertheless, we found it almost impossible to abandon the thought of being able to fix ourselves. Exhausted, we held out hope that a new relationship, a new job, or a move would be the cure, but it never was. Then, we finally made the decision to seek help.
We found people in the meetings who listened to us talk. They did not judge us. They did not try to fix us. They did not interrupt us when we spoke. They merely told us that if we came to meetings on a regular basis we would gradually begin to feel better. And we did!
This is your personal invitation to come to ACA! Your presence in meetings helps us in our recovery. We know that this program works for us. This is our path to sanity, our program to serenity.
And keep coming back, it works if you work it, so work it 'cause you're worth it!
What We Do in ACA Meetings
- We share what is happening in our lives, and how we are dealing with these issues in our recovery program. (i.e., share our experience, strength, and hope).
- We build a personal support network.
- We practice our recovery & personal boundaries by giving service.
- We allow others to express themselves in peace, respecting that what another shares is true for them.
What We Do Not Do at Meetings
- We do not engage in crosstalk (commenting on, interrupting, or referring to another’s share).
- We do not criticize.
- We do not comment on what others say.
- We do not offer advice.
- We do not distract others from the person speaking by word, whisper, gesture, noise, or movement.
- We do not violate the anonymity of others.
- We do not repeat what is said in meetings (in any context).
- We do not try to “fix” others.
Tools of ACA Recovery
- We go to meetings, and call program people to discuss recovery issues.
- We read ACA literature and learn about the experiences of others while gaining clarity on our own experiences.
- We define & enforce our boundaries.
- We work & use the 12 Steps & 12 Traditions.
- We identify the people, places and things that are healthy and useful to our lives today, and discard those that are not.
- We reconnect with our Inner Child or True Self.
- We work with a sponsor & build support networks.
- We attend meetings that focus on issues upon which we need to work.
- We give service in ACA.
How ACA Meetings Have Helped Us
Listening to people share at meetings helps us in our recovery. Sharing at meetings sometimes helps us to focus, define and clarify our problems. We express our feelings. We talk about our action plans to change our lives, or how well our current plan is working. We often use meetings as a reality check on our overall program, comparing our current life in the program to our adult life before coming to the ACA program.
In the meetings we come to understand how our childhood experiences shape our attitudes, behavior, and choices today. We hear others talk about their experiences, and we recognize ourselves. We learn how we can change. We sense that within ourselves are people who are not who we were taught to be. Some people call these our “inner children.” We discover ourselves.
We read literature about ACA issues, often using the literature as life rafts. We hang on to what we have read when the seas get temporarily rough. We use ACA functions outside the meetings to learn spontaneity and how to have fun.
Gradually, we begin to recognize the negative parenting messages from our childhoods that drive our lives. We learn how to replace them with healthy behaviors. This is a first step toward “reparenting.” As we gradually reparent our selves, our outlook on life changes. We begin to look at it from an emotionally mature perspective. Ultimately, we become happier, stronger, more capable people — more able to handle life. We learn to respect others and ourselves. The quality of our lives improves as we learn to define and communicate our boundaries, and insist that they be honored.
We have learned by experience that those ACA members who make the greatest gains in the shortest amount of time are those who use the “tools of recovery.” We have also found that all of us recover at our own paces, and in our own time. We are individuals who come from varied experiences and backgrounds.
More Resources
Much of the information in this page has been adapted from the following literature:
ACA Fellowship Text Big Red Book; the foundational text of the ACA Program
Link to Purchase
ACA Is...; an informational brochure describing the purpose of the ACA Program
PDF Download
Breaking The Bonds; Booklet often given to newcomers at meetings in Oregon
PDF Download
For more information about the ACA Program, please take a closer look at the links listed below:
A New Hope: ACA Beginner's Handbook; a clear, concise, and comprehensive guide for those new to ACA
Link to Purchase
ACA Essentials; a brochure including foundational ACA meeting readings such as the Laundry List, The Solution, The Promises, The 12 Steps, and a list of Affirmations
PDF Download
25 Questions, Am I An Adult Child?; A brochure that considers what qualifies someone to be an Adult Child
PDF Download
The Tool Bag; an ACA WSO brochure providing the tools for new and old members alike
PDF Download
