Affirmations and Prayers

Traditional Serenity Prayer

God (Higher Power) grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

ACA Serenity Prayer

God (Higher Power) grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know that one is me.

Secular Traditional Serenity Affirmation

Today I seek the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Secular ACA Serenity Affirmation

Today I seek the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know that one is me.

Affirmations and Prayers for the Laundry List Traits

The following are prayers and affirmations shared by an ACA Member developed for dealing with Laundry List Behaviors.

Inner Critique:
- I am doing the best I can with the awareness I have today.
- I did the best I could with the awareness I had then. I have a new awareness today and in six months I will have a different awareness and I will be doing the best I can with that awareness.
- "God please take this behavior from me. It hurts too much and I don’t want to do it anymore."
Self Criticism:
- When I judge or criticize others, I am rehearsing/practicing to judge and criticize myself.
Judging others:
- They are doing the best they can with the awareness they have today too.
Mind Racing:
- I do this because it feels comfortable/ it’s something I grew up with. It also gives me a shame hit.
- The other payoff is, it takes me out of the present so I don’t have to deal with my feelings or present issues.
Control:
- The only person I have control over is myself. I truly have no control over others. The only thing I can do is to model my new behavior for others.
- When I attempt to control my adult children’s actions or take care of them, I am not allowing them to grow and move on with their adult life. I am being selfish.
Codependency:
- Am I doing it to truly help someone, or is there a payoff for me and my ego?
- Expectations are a resentment waiting to happen. I can have no expectations of another person except to act as themselves.
- If I don’t express/verbalize my needs I can’t expect others to read my mind or meet my needs.
Reacting:
- When I react to others, I give my power over to them. I want to keep my power.
- "God please give me the awareness not to react to others, nor to read their minds."
Fixing Others in Recovery:
- Everyone has to travel their own path, and I can’t tell them how to do it. When I focus on others, I avoid working on my own recovery.
Feeling stuck in Recovery:
- Am I attending enough meetings?
- Am I reading the ACA text and other literature?
- Am I actively working the steps?
- Am I talking to my higher power and asking for awareness?
- Am I reaching out for help (picking up the 1,000 pound telephone)?
Finding Humility:
- Try praying on your knees to God or your higher power every day for 30 days to remind yourself to be humble and who really is powerless: "God you are strong and I am weak. Please help me, or lend me some of your strength."
Awareness:
- "God, please take a special Interest in my recovery. Give me awareness on my issue, willingness to see where you guide me and the courage to act on it. Please be by my side reminding me I am not alone or abandoned as you are with me."
Am I a Victim or a Volunteer?
- Am I a victim or a volunteer when the world seems to be closing in on me? Am I playing out the victim role from my childhood or is some one really victimizing me?
- "God, Please take my victimization script and remind me I have a choice and I can be happy if I am in the present and not feeling sorry for myself."

ACA Affirmations and Prayers from the Community

Do you have a favorite affirmation or prayer you use and would like to share with others?

Send your affirmation using our Contact Form or send an email to acaoregon@gmail.com, and a volunteer will add the affirmation or prayer to the list below anonymously.

I am loving and loveable.
I set limits and make them clear.
I am a worthwhile person.
I allow myself to be relaxed and to enjoy life.
I am caring and competent.
I am serene and peaceful.
I feel calm and clear-headed.
Confrontation is affirming my caring for others in a positive way.
I can be forgiving and forgiven.
I am intelligent.
I can ask questions without guilt or fear.
I am responsible for making my own decisions.
I am strong.
I am a fallible human being with worth and dignity.
I can have compassion for other people without acting on it.
Others’ behavior does not affect my value – I am a precious child of god.
I am right where I am supposed to be on my personal path of recovery.
The choices I have made have helped me arrive to this place on my healing journey.

Affirmations from the Big Red Book, page 329-330

It is okay to know who you are.
It is okay to trust yourself.
It is okay to say you are an adult child.
It is okay to know another way to live.
It is okay to say no without feeling guilty.
It is okay to give yourself a break.
It is okay to cry when you watch a movie or hear a song.
Your feelings are okay even if you are still learning how to distinguish them.
It is okay to not take care of others when you think.
It is okay to feel angry.
It is okay to have fun and celebrate.
It is okay to make mistakes and learn.
It is okay to not know everything.
It is okay to say “I don’t know.”
It is okay to ask someone to show you how to do things.
It is okay to dream and have hope.
It is okay to think about things differently than your family.
It is okay to explore and say, “I like this or I like that.”
It is okay to detach with love.
It is okay to seek your own Higher Power.
It is okay to reparent yourself with thoughtfulness.
It is okay to say that you love yourself.
It is okay to work an ACA program

**Affirmations adapted from The Loving Parent Guidebook, page 148**

It is okay to feel this
It is okay to talk, trust, and feel
It is okay to be you
It is okay to not take care of others feelings or thoughts
It is okay to have fun and celebrate
It is natural and human to have needs
You can protect yourself now
You are not alone anymore
You are not responsible for other people
You are enough no matter what
You are wanted
You matter
I like you because you’re you
There’s nothing wrong with you; you’re just right.
You don’t have to do anything to get love and appreciation
May you be safe and protected
May you be happy
May you be healthy
May you be at ease
May you heal
May you feel loved